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Sex Toys for Men!

         Sex toys for men tend to be taboo; however, I declare 2023 to be the year of sex toys for men! Let’s remove the stigma, the shame, and the embarrassment of men enjoying sex toys during coupled or solo play. Bedbible Research Center conducted a research study in 2022, The State of Sex Toys + Industry Statistics [2022], which included 1,760 respondents identifying as US citizens utilizing longitudinal data from 2017 and 2022, discovering that 75% of men own at least one sex toy.



         At Evolve Your Intimacy, we believe everyone should feel empowered to explore self-pleasure using sex toys. For this article, I am referring to individuals with penises and male-identifying folx when using the term ‘men.’ The benefits of self-pleasure transcend all sexualities, and we encourage people with every type of body to participate in any form of self-pleasure they desire.


Key Findings     

  • Men, on average, spend approximately 20% more on sex toys than women per order 

  • Men choose to pay extra for quicker delivery times

  • Single men purchase more non-vibrating dildos than single women or those in relationships (1).

  • The study also revealed that men see more positive benefits from using sex toys than women, but men are 25% less likely to use a toy during times of solo sex (2).

  • Owners of sex toys are 20% more likely to report overall satisfaction in their sex lives (1).

  • In 2017 65% of respondents reported owning sex toys, but when surveyed again in 2022, 78% of respondents reported owning a sex toy (1).  

  • Those in the age group of 51 and older had the biggest growth (17% increase) than respondents in other age brackets (1).

















Real Men Don’t Need Aids (Sex Toys) = Toxic BULLSHIT!

        Outdated misconceptions regarding sex toys for men have contributed to the controversy and stigma surrounding this fun pastime. While the use of vibrators by those who identify as women is praised and suggests sexual liberation, when men openly discuss their use of sex toys, society labels them as being gay. Traditionally, gay men have the liberty to explore their sexuality since they are already a marginalized population. The LGBTQIA+ community has had to fight for sexual liberation, similar to how women fought for the female sexual revolution. Still, straight men haven’t experienced a powerful movement paving the way for societal acceptance of sexual exploration.


Toxic masculinity sends the message that ‘real’ men don’t need sex toys for sexual gratification and if a man ‘needs’ sex toys, then there must be something wrong with them. Melissa A. Vitale has been the publicist for many popular sex toy brands, stating,


“There’s a massive stigma surrounding male sex toy use that doesn’t exist for females. It’s considered erotic and desirable to see a woman masturbate, but taboo and predatory for a male to have a masturbator. Sex toy brands are taking this opportunity to create toys that bust the stigma. The cult-classic Fleshlights were once considered taboo, and Tenga has turned masturbators into works of art.”

Melissa A. Vitale


         Contrary to popular belief, regardless of us living in 2023 and all of the sexual empowerment movements over the past 5 years, there has been a 10% increase in public opinion that sex toys are taboo, with an overwhelming 66% reporting they felt it is taboo to speak with friends about sex toys (1). While more people reported owning one or more sex toys, society is afraid to talk about it with others.



















Benefits of Sex Toys vs. Rosy Palm & Her 5 Sisters

         Dr. Justin Lehmiller, sex researcher, provided that masturbation is healthy and linked to various health benefits. In the article The Benefits of Self-Pleasure, Dr. Lehmiller outlined the vital benefits of masturbation based on research including:

  • Masturbation is good for your physical health

    • Frequent orgasms and ejaculation are connected to a decreased risk of prostate cancer

    • Provides temporary relief from chronic pain

    • Boosts one’s immune system avoiding infections

  • Masturbation is good for your mental health

    • Form of stress relief

    • Encourages relaxation and promotes falling asleep

    • Provides a temporary mood boost

  • Masturbation can improve your sex life

    • Explore what feels pleasurable so you can share it with your partners

    • Increased self-esteem and sexual self-confidence

    • Possibly increase libido


          Now that we have explored the benefits of masturbation let’s delve into how sex toys can enhance a man's overall sexual satisfaction, partnered or solo. Dr. Lehmiller expressed, “men who use sex toys report that, overall, it improves their sexual experiences [3]. Male sex toy users also report better sexual functioning. Specifically, research has shown that sex toy users report better erectile function, better orgasmic function, more intercourse satisfaction, and more sexual desire (4).” Masturbating with your hands can be exhausting, which can take away from the experience of having an orgasm. Sex toys can assist with reaching climax quickly and stimulate erotic areas that might have been previously unexplored.


Common Sex Toys for Men

            Purchasing a sex toy for the very first time can be overwhelming and intimidating due to the plethora of options available now. We will explore some options below that are great when exploring self-pleasure.


  • Masturbation Sleeve

    • Imitates a vagina, anus, or mouth for an individual to put their penis into

      • Fleshlights

      • Pocket Pussies

      • Strokers

  • Cock Ring

    • Placed around the base of a penis

    • Restricts blood flow to delay ejaculation

    • Stronger erections

  • Butt Plug

    • Inserted into anus

    • Provides stimulation for extra pleasure

      • Vibrate

      • Various sizes

  • Prostate Stimulator

    • A wand that is designed to reach and please the prostate gland

    • Several health benefits

    • Mind-blowing orgasms


In Closing

When shopping for sex toys, research because you are opening the door to a whole new world! There are so many options with various bells and whistles designed to tickle your erotic self-pleasure desires; however, the options can be overwhelming. Start simple! There is no need to spend money on a toy that does not fit your needs, and sex toys are not returnable for many establishments, so try one toy and build your toy box from there. I have had couples go on a date to a sexy store and pick out a toy together that can be used partnered or solo. This opens the doors for deep conversations about desires, dislikes, and sexual goals. 



 Dramatically Yours,

 Stephanie Sigler CST, LPC, PhD 

*Originally published in the February 2023 edition of ASN Lifestyle Magazine


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